Standing Tall: Learning to See Myself Beyond Expectations
What old journals taught me about confidence, identity, and self-acceptance.
Over Thanksgiving, I found myself flipping through old notebooks from childhood. What started as a quick quest to get rid of junk turned into hours of rummaging through bins, amazed at my younger self’s imagination, humor, and sheer amount of writing our teachers has us do. I’m grateful for that guidance to imagine, tell stories, and reflect.
In those pages, I saw a confident eight-year-old calling herself awesome, cool, kind, and “exalant,” gradually turn into a fifteen-year-old questioning her worth: I’m too tall, my ‘friends’ don’t like me, I suck at soccer. I should’ve tried volleyball. I don’t even know if I like basketball. It’s just what’s expected of me.
My parents always told me to “stand up straight,” advice that was both physical and emotional. They helped, a lot, but it wasn’t easy. Being tall made me feel exposed at an age when blending in felt like survival. I stood out in every photo, on every team, in every classroom. What I didn’t realize then was that standing tall would eventually become not just something I had to do, but something I would choose.
I began to see my height and athleticism not as spectacles, but as gifts. They demanded presence, and eventually, confidence. Learning to own what made me different helped me embrace who I was becoming. That shift didn’t happen overnight. It took encouragement, setbacks, and courage to show up as myself even when it felt uncomfortable.
So when the basketball recruiting started, it didn’t feel as simple as chasing a “dream,” like some others might. Basketball had been both a mirror and a stage, a way to measure myself, and sometimes, to hide behind performance. But it also became the space where I rediscovered strength, joy, and pride in my body.
If I could coach that fifteen-year-old version of me, the one questioning her worth while shrinking to fit in, I’d ask her three things:
- What is it like to be you?
- What do you notice about yourself right now?
- What advice would you give your best friend if they were feeling this way?
And I’ll leave you with a question:
In 15 years, what advice will you give to your current self?
Originally published on the Power Forward Substack.
